Captain Deaf (Five Parsecs)

 

Captain Deaf, the “Information” Broker. 
A fan-made mod for Five Parsecs From Home.

“Information is ammunition!” shouts the wiry man in blue jeans and green flannel, strapped with enough guns to fill a guard armory. “There are no problems, only solutions! There is nothing to fear but fear itself! Well, maybe, fear the guy who has a bigger gun than you, but we can fix that!”

Heavy crates labeled with block-printed serial numbers are piled all around his weathered Winnebago. Somewhere, a radio rattles and buzzes with the sounds of a classic rock station that plays more static and commercials than songs. As you approach the merchant, he grins broadly and states that all sales are final, but his wares are guaranteed not to wear, tear, rip or rattle before you get out the door.

Interacting with Captain Deaf takes one crew task. Treat Captain Deaf as an additional Specialist Merchant like those in Five Parsecs Tricks & Guns, a supplement for Five Parsecs which can be obtained on the Nordic Weasel Games Patreon. Basically, you may choose to find and purchase from Captain Deaf instead of any other specialist merchant. I may homebrew up some other specialist merchants in the future. If I do, I’ll share them on my blog so others can enjoy them too.

Unlike the specialty merchants in Tricks & Guns, the items offered by Captain Deaf are always available, the prices stay consistent and you may purchase as many items as you can afford. Rules for ammunition are the same as what is printed in Tricks & Guns.

To fully utilize some of these items, you will need access to Five Parsecs: Tactics. Part of the purpose of Captain Deaf as a specialty merchant is to bring some of the Five Parsecs: Tactics content into normal campaign play. In these cases, instead of duplicating / leaking official rules in a free document, I’ve referenced the specific page numbers in Tactics where you can find the relevant rules. This makes it easier for everyone and preserves Ivan’s hard work, which he deserves to be paid for.

Tables showing the wares your Five Parsecs campaign characters can buy from Captain Deaf are shown in the images below. Click to see them full-sized. I've also compiled this entire mod into a PDF which you can view here for easier reading.

A NOTE ABOUT CAPTAIN DEAF:

Captain Deaf was a nickname that my late father (a huge fan of all things wargaming adjacent, who got me into model painting and learned Battletech with me) took a liking to. To add a little humor to the situation, he also liked the name because he originally misheard it as “Captain Death.” He actually became so fond of the nickname that when he called or left a voice message, he would announce himself with “Captain Deaf here!”

His enthusiasm for war history (especially WWII) and firearms, both historical and speculative (as well as his past as a quality used chainsaw salesman) led to his appearance as a recurring "information broker" in several RPG sessions I ran. Captain Deaf would arrive suddenly, and he could get anything and everything for a player character if the price was right. He also used to race dirt bikes, so I had to put that in the purchase tables as well to honor that part of his past (along with nods to his favorite sci-fi movies.)

Also, the mini in the picture is a miniature I kitbashed of my dad as I remember him from the late 1990’s, when he was at the height of his game. Of course, it takes some artistic license. For all his love of guns and war history, he was never a violent man.

Treat him well and enjoy the wares of Captain Deaf!

FINAL NOTE:

This is a fan-made modification for use with Five Parsecs From Home. Five Parsecs From Home is a solo adventure wargame by Nordic Weasel Games and Modiphius. I don't own any rights to any of that official content, I'm just a fan sharing some fun campaign modifications I've created for my own game. Hopefully you find them to be as fun to play with as I have.

Five Parsecs From Home can be found here: https://modiphius.net/en-us/pages/five-parsecs